Barian Christmas Carols
by Matarra
Summary: The barians sing Christmas songs for the holidays! Oh boy...
1. Chapter 1

On the first day of Christmas Vector gave to me; an Alit hanging from a pear tree.

_Alit: Get me down from here!_

_Vector: No, you make a lovely ornament._

On the second day of Christmas Vector gave to me; two baria crystals, and an Alit hanging from a pear tree.

On the third day of Christmas Vector gave to me; three barian guardian badges, baria crystals, and an Alit hanging from a pear tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas Vector gave to me; four torture victims, three barian guardian badges, two baria crystals, and an Alit hanging from a pear tree.

_Random Humans: ARGHHHHH! THE PAIN! MAKE IT STOP!_

_Vector: *giggling maniacally* No~_

_Misael: Vector! Stop torturing humans. Their screaming is annoying after the first few hours._

_Vector: Is that so? *starts torturing the humans again*_

_Humans: AHHHHHHH!_

_Misael: VECTOR!_

On the fifth day of Christmas Vector gave to me; five stolen dragon plushies, four torture victims, three barian guardian badges, two baria crystals, and an Alit hanging from a pear tree.

_Misael: VECTOR! Give those back right now!_

_Vector: Mmmm. How about no?_

_Misael: VECTOR!_

_Vector: *runs away as fast as he can with the dragon plushes*_

On the sixth day of Christmas Vector gave to me; six pink dresses, five stolen dragon plushies, four torture victims, three barian guardian badges, two baria crystals, and an Alit hanging from a pear tree.

_Vector: Oh Miza-chan~! I have a gift for you~_

On the seventh day of Christmas Vector gave to me; seven poisonous snakes, six pink dresses, five stolen dragon plushies, four torture victims, three barian guardian badges, two baria crystals, and an Alit hanging from a pear tree.

_Alit: Oh Don Thousand, WHY?! GET THEM OFF OF ME! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SIC THE SNAKES ON ME?!_

_Vector: Not my fault they like how you taste, Alit~ *insane giggle*_

_Dumon: I'll get the anti-venom..._

On the eighth day of Christmas Vector gave to me; eight spiked eggnogs, seven poisonous snakes, six pink dresses, five stolen dragon plushies, four torture victims, three barian guardian badges, two baria crystals, and an Alit hanging from a pear tree.

_Alit: *hiccup* LoOk at mE. I'm a FluFfy uNicoRN._

_Vector: You certainly are. Now here's some unicorn cleaner and a pretty hair gem._

_Alit: Oooo... It's shiny._

_Dumon: VECTOR! Did you spike the eggnog?!_

_Vector: Maybe~_

_Dumon: I know that means yes. And- WHAT IS A DRUNK ALIT DOING WITH LIGHTER FLUID AND A MATCH?! ALIT! DON'T POUR THE LIGHTER FLUID ON YOURSELF!_

On the ninth day of Christmas Vector gave to me; nine reindeer, eight spiked eggnogs, seven poisonous snakes, six pink dresses, five stolen dragon plushies, four torture victims, three barian guardian badges, two baria crystals, and an Alit hanging from a pear tree.

_Vector: BWAHAHAHAHA! Santa's sled shall never fly! I have slaughtered his beasts of burden and ended his reign of joy and happiness!_

_Gilag: Oh my... I can't even tell which one is Rudolph anymore. They're all red-nosed reindeer. And red antlered. And red coated. And red hoofed..._

_Alit: I'm going to throw up._

_Dumon: Vector... you do know that Santa can get more reindeer, right?_

_Vector: Frig! I guess I'll just have to kill the fat old guy..._

_Dumon: You are not murdering Santa Clause and that's final._

_Vector: %$ #_

_Dumon: Don't use that word around the holidays._

_Alit:... I think you are on the naughty list for life, Vector._

_Vector: Good, I can burn things up with all the coal I'll get._

On the tenth day of Christmas Vector gave to me; ten sharp knives, nine reindeer, eight spiked eggnogs, seven poisonous snakes, six pink dresses, five stolen dragon plushies, four torture victims, three barian guardian badges, two baria crystals, and an Alit hanging from a pear tree.

_Dumon: Vector. Give me those knives. Now._

_Vector: Why?_

_Misael: You have once committed a grotesque, bloody massacre of over fifty humans using only a pen! WHAT IN THAT MESSED-UP, INSANE, TWISTED MIND OF YOURS MAKES YOU THINK WE WOULD EVER GIVE YOU ACCESS TO EVEN ONE KNIFE?!_

_Vector: Oooh! Miza-chan's getting feisty!_

_Misael: Why you-_

_Dumon: Enough! Vector, hand over the knives. NOW!_

_Vector: *terrified into submission by Dumon's tone* Ok~_

On the eleventh day of Christmas Vector gave to me; eleven rotten eggs, ten sharp knives, nine reindeer, eight spiked eggnogs, seven poisonous snakes, six pink dresses, five stolen dragon plushies, four torture victims, three barian guardian badges, two baria crystals, and an Alit hanging from a pear tree.

_Vector: Heads up! *dumps all of the eggs on Misael's head*_

_Misael: VECTOR! YOU #%&$ %%# #$^$*&-!_

_Dumon: Don't use that language. I'll help you wash the eggs out of your hair._

_Misael: I hope Santa kills you in your sleep with a rusty knife, Vector!_

_Dumon: I thought this was supposed to be the season of goodwill..._

On the twelfth day of Christmas Vector gave to me; twelve barrels of acid, eleven rotten eggs, ten sharp knives, nine reindeer, eight spiked eggnogs, seven poisonous snakes, six pink dresses, five stolen dragon plushies, four torture victims, three barian guardian badges, two baria crystals, and an Alit hanging from a pear tree.

_Alit: Vector, I swear. GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!_

_Vector: Well, if you insist. * pushes a barrel of acid below Alit*_

_Alit: Wait, never mind. Here is fine. NO! PLEASE! I REALLY DON'T NEED TO GET DOWN FROM THIS TRE- AHHHHHHH! *Vector unties Alit and Alit falls into the acid* YOWWWWWWW! OH WHY?! THE PAIN!_

_Vector: *laughing like crazy* HAHAHAHAHAHA MERRY CHRISTMAS, LOSERS! *teleports away*_

_Dumon: Vector! *sighs* Merry Christmas to everyone._


	2. Chapter 2

**This one is sung by Misael, if that isn't obvious by the Alit and Vector bashing. Although Alit does sing a little in the last stanza.**

Deck the halls with tons of green things

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Alit is being a complete moron

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Dumon's reading, Gilag's snoring

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Vector's killing little reindeer

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Dumon's baking gingerbread cookies

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Gilag and Alit are now drooling

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

I slipped and fell on a stray pine cone

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Why do humans bring dead plants indoors?

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Vector dumped red paint on my head

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

He is going to be so dead

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Summoning Tachyon Dragon

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Vector's running for his life

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Christmas is a stupid holiday

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Dumb songs, dead plants, and stuff in boxes

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

But Misa it's the time for giving

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Shut up Alit, you know nothing

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-laaaaaaaa!


	3. Chapter 3

Gilag the red-nosed barian

_Gilag: I don't have a red nose!_

_Alit: *puts clown nose on Gilag* Now you do!_

_Gilag: -_-_

_Alit: Don't be like that._

Had a very shiny nose

_Gilag: It's not shiny!_

_Alit: *puts shoe shine on clown nose* Now it is._

And if you ever saw it,

You would even say it glows

_Gilag: This thing doesn't glow_

_Alit: *wraps Christmas tree lights around shiny clown nose*_

_Gilag: I give up._

All of the other barians,

Used to laugh and call him names

_Gilag: You guys don't do that._

_Vector: I do, so does Misael. Have you heard what he calls you sometimes?_

_Misael: Me calling him a dunder-brained gorilla is an accurate statement. You calling him a #&$%ing stupid punching bag filled with organs and blood _

_that exists for your own amusement is most definitely not._

_Vector: *ignoring Misael* And when Dumon called you a fine barian warrior he was lying to you._

_Gilag: WHAT?!_

_Dumon: *hurriedly* Continue with the carol, Alit._

They never let poor Gilag,

join any barian games.

_Gilag: We never play any games aside from dueling._

_Alit: And when was the last time you participated in a tag duel with one of us?_

_Gilag: ..._

_Alit: Exactly._

Then one foggy Christmas Eve-

_Vector: *shoves Alit and takes the microphone* Thanks for the mic, Alit. Tee-hee!_

Vector came to say; Gilag, with your stupid nose, I'll shove you into ice cold water.

_Alit: That is not how the song goes._

_Vector: Is now. *pulls a chain and a trapdoor opens underneath Gilag*_

_Gilag: AHHHHHHH! *splash*_

Then Vector went up to Santa,

Holding a bloody knife.

Santa is bleeding on the snow,

And he is now history!

_Alit: Oh my..._

_Misael: WHAT THE # $ ^ IS WRONG WITH YOU?!_

_Dumon: Less swearing around the holidays please._

_Gilag: S-so c-c-cold..._

**Matarra: Amazing. Vector just made Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer disturbing in less than six sentences. Thankfully, the elves administered first-aid to Santa so he's ok, much to Vector's dismay.**

**Vector: Why can't I ever succeed in killing Santa?!**

**Misael: I detest every particle that you are made of.**

**Gilag: *shivering and cuddling Ponta***


	4. Chapter 4

Dashing through a portal

To break up a fight

Misael has summoned Tachyon

And Vector has knife

My books are drenched in honey

Vector's running for his life

Hey! Put Tachyon away before the house is destroyed!

Jingle bells, Jingle bells

Vector killed an elf

Alit's wearing reindeer antlers

Gilag's listening to carols

Vector just now shoved a red nose on Misael

They are now fighting it out again

I really need some more aspirin


	5. Chapter 5

***This song is a paody of Auld Lang Sne. It's a traditional New Year's song. I know it's not a Christmas carol.**

Should all alliances be forgot,  
and never brought to mind  
Should old acquaintance be forgot  
and days of Barian World

For the sake of Barian World, fellow emperors,  
For the sake of Barian World,  
We'll win the war for our home yet  
For the sake of Barian World

And surely you'll cxyz your number  
and surely I'll cxyz mine  
And we'll win the war and defeat Astral yet,  
for the sake of Barian World

For the sake of Barian World, fellow emperors,  
For the sake of Barian World,  
We'll win the war for our home yet  
For the sake of Barian World

We have all ran among the crystals  
and activated baria sphere cubes  
But our world is crumbling to dust  
since Astral world started to attack

For the sake of Barian World, fellow emperors,  
For the sake of Barian World,  
We'll win the war for our home yet  
For the sake of Barian World

We have dueled to win the number cards  
But Yuma has stopped us everytime

But still we fight on at all costs  
for the sake of Barian World

For the sake of Barian World, fellow emperors,  
For the sake of Barian World,  
We'll win the war for our home yet  
For the sake of Barian World


End file.
